11-9-13: I am not one of those people that can focus on diet or
exercise or cardio. Lucky me I have all three. I have hit the proverbial wall.
I am not entering in my food. Weights, are you ready for it, are REALLY heavy.
Cardio makes me tired. I feel like taking a page from my 3 year olds book and
having a temper tantrum. Full out with wailing and complaining but not all that
movement. It looks like a lot of work. I shared my flat line status with Lisa.
Of course she was understanding and totally said all the right things. What
ever Lisa! I want to be b**chy and lazy.
No go.
A few days later IT HAPPENS!
Sunday night I am chillaxing with some Ellen, as if I need to clarify Ellen DeGeneres
but I will. Robyn Lawley was a guest. She is a plus sized model.
Meaning she is
an actual sized person.
She is 6’2” , drop dead gorgeous and a size 12.
Really?! In this very moment I am DONE with the hate that American culture puts
on women’s bodies. I have been brainwashed my whole life of what I should look
like and always falling short. Who wins? When I was dying on the hospital bed I
didn’t think, “I wish this hospital gown would be a little looser.” I didn’t
learn to speak again so I could mimic unkind words to myself. I didn’t relearn
to walk so that I could run away from my reflection. This body of mine, all 171
pounds of it, fought for where I am. It’s about time I show some respect.
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