I have to change my approach. Isn’t that what its all about? You work toward a goal, and if you are not getting the results you want, something needs to change. I recently went in for a second check in with the Program Consultant, and was greatly disappointed by my results, albeit not surprised.
My results (which were a little weight gain, and very little change in my BMI) opened my eyes and I can see that I’ve been banging my head against the wall with making real changes in my life because I allow others to control my schedule. I think being a mom has presented a lot of challenges for me, having to juggle sports schedules with the kids, work, and life, I just don’t allow myself time for me, and when I do have time, I don’t use it wisely.
I have a thousand excuses to not get my workout in when I have any free time, filling up my time with this and that, things that I deem important, which in reality are truly not. It boils down to motivation. Of course there is probably deeper psychological stuff going on, and, well, for a blog article I’m not willing to pull back the scabs to reveal the raw wounds of my emotional stuff, I will say that I need to really analyze what I want, and even more importantly, WHY I want it.
The Big WHY! I think that this is the age old struggle for making change. Why do we want it? I want to share this with you because I really need to figure that out, I think we all do. I look around my house and I see that my world is focused on my children, and my husband. What I do seems to evolve around them, and others. Friends who need me, or small jobs that I pick up here and there to fund my writing habit.
So what is my big WHY……..?
Okay, I think I’ve got it. I want to be fit, because I remember how good it feels to be fit. I want to be an awesome role model for my children. I want them to see that fitness is important and fun. I want to feel better in my skin, and walk with confidence without the feel of my pants biting into my hips, knowing that I have just as many lumps on my back as I do on my front (ha ha, which is terribly disturbing if you really think about it.) But most of all, I want to be healthy. I want to be there for my children when they grow up, I want to have the energy to run around with them, and to show them what it means to have a healthy balanced lifestyle. I want them to see the beautiful me, not the one who is caught up in being miserable about myself.
So, I need to stop banging my head against the wall and shift. I have to face the truth and use the tools I have been given to succeed. I have to keep track of what is going into my body, and the exercise I do to keep myself balanced.
Thank you for reading about my experience. I think even though I haven’t had the incredible results that I had wanted (my fault completely), I have had lots of little successes, and I will not discredit how far I have come since February. This journey has, overall been a very positive one, and an eye opening one at that.