Summer is coming, I know that sounds crazy, being in the throes of what seems to be the longest winter in the history of my life, but it IS coming, and it will be here before we know it.
I was perusing thru some old photo’s yesterday, which can be ever so heartbreaking. It truly makes you realize how quickly the time is flying by. I find that when I am looking at these pieces of my history I cannot help but judge my body thru the ages. One picture in particular, was taken just 4 short years ago. The picture is of me standing in central park in front of a bronze sculpture of Alice in Wonderland. My smile is broad, the sun is bright. I remember the day, it was a hot one for May, so hot I could barely place a single finger on the statue for more than a second because of the searing heat. I was wearing my favorite jeans and a black t-shirt. I love the simplicity of the picture, it was spontaneous and fun, I was comfortable in my clothes and at ease in public. Unfortunately now I don’t have the luxury of being comfortable in my skin, and I miss it.
|Memories of Fit times!|
These same jeans now sit at the bottom of my closet in a crumpled heap. I use them as my motivation because I don’t even have a dream of fitting in them. 4 years ago, these jeans hung fairly loosely, now I dread the incredibly tight squeeze on my thighs, and I have inches to go before I can button them. I try them on occasionally, because I figure that if I’m working hard something’s got to give…Right? However they always seem to end up back in a heap as I struggle to take them off quickly with anger and frustration, throwing them into the pile with some other clothes that no longer fit. I’ve been told to throw stuff like that away and just buy new clothes. Nope, I can’t do it, because it wasn’t so long ago that most of these clothes fit perfectly, and I believe I can get it back, with time and patience. It’s hard to be patient, and I’m sure I’m not the only one fighting the battle.
|Looking for my smile... one step at a time!|
I think the trick is to keep it fun.
Going to the Works is a blast when I can get motivated enough to get there (right now, about 3 – 4 times a week) my nemesis is the kitchen however, and until I can make preparing healthy food fun and delicious I will continue to struggle.
Thanks for reading!
|Finding my happy...|