11-9-13: I am not one of those people that can focus on diet or exercise or cardio. Lucky me I have all three. I have hit the proverbial wall. I am not entering in my food. Weights, are you ready for it, are REALLY heavy. Cardio makes me tired. I feel like taking a page from my 3 year olds book and having a temper tantrum. Full out with wailing and complaining but not all that movement. It looks like a lot of work. I shared my flat line status with Lisa. Of course she was understanding and totally said all the right things. What ever Lisa! I want to be b**chy and lazy.
A few days later IT HAPPENS! Sunday night I am chillaxing with some Ellen, as if I need to clarify Ellen DeGeneres but I will. Robyn Lawley was a guest. She is a plus sized model.
Meaning she is an actual sized person.
She is 6’2” , drop dead gorgeous and a size 12. Really?! In this very moment I am DONE with the hate that American culture puts on women’s bodies. I have been brainwashed my whole life of what I should look like and always falling short. Who wins? When I was dying on the hospital bed I didn’t think, “I wish this hospital gown would be a little looser.” I didn’t learn to speak again so I could mimic unkind words to myself. I didn’t relearn to walk so that I could run away from my reflection. This body of mine, all 171 pounds of it, fought for where I am. It’s about time I show some respect.