11/13/13 – I am still on my high of loving myself and my body. Today with Lisa was great. Instead of complaining, yes I do complain mostly funny complaining but complaining none the less. I used sarcasm. Fake it till you make it. “Lisa that sounds lovely I am so very excited” said with a big smile. Here’s the thing it may have worked. I did everything and then some. There was an exercise that I knew with my balance I would not be able to do. So I didn’t take the weighs she had out and did it without. Here’s the thing I kind of know what I can do. I have to take responsibility to do what I can. Lisa pushes me to do things I didn’t think I could do. I have limits that I do allow others to see. Well I am starting to. I began to think back.
I remember vividly being at the mall right across from my rehabilitation center. My therapists loved to take me there to do laps so I could practice walking with my cane. Now to be clear I never actually made it a full lap around the mall but I tired. One day as I was slowly shuffling around I looked up and saw people rushing all around me. Some people doing errands most likely on a break from work. Other people running late for something or just busy bees. In that very moment the desire to rush overwhelmed me. Please, I thought, just let me rush too someday.
I do rush now.
And for that I am so very thankful. This body of mine I love. Every inch of beautiful me.